Fashion Covets: Finding my personal style

I'm sort of stealing this idea from the blog Ultimate Goth Guide, where she has a new segment called "coveting". Although, there are a few differences. Hers is once a month and featuring individual sellers, where as this is more about developing one's personal style.

As a child, I loved clothes. There were probably several reasons, but I loved pretty frilly dresses, and cute little outfits. As I got older and my self esteem got lower, I was more concerned with covering myself. Due to some unpleasant things in my childhood, and the normal awkwardness of adolescence, the effects culminated into wanting to hide. Bulky t-shirts and sweaters and loose fitting pants were my salvation. As my weight went up, the more I needed to hide it. As I have mentioned, my weight was a barrier. I put on these pounds and a cushion to keep everything in and everything else out. It was a way to separate me from society.

I became more and more self-conscious about wearing anything that was beyond my norm. I was afraid I guess of scrutiny. Or of being looked down upon for wearing what was in yesterday. Felt and still do feel like everyone else was clued in to some secret of life and social interactions that I was completely left out of. All I could do, was fake along, like the person who laughs along with his friends at a joke that they don't really get the punch line.

As I had said before, there was a lot more to this journey than just the weight loss. So much more than a number on a scale, or a clothing size. I've felt so left out of being able to wear cute clothes and outfits and I would gawk at wishing I could wear, but would never even dare to think of trying them on in my wildest dreams. I've tried so hard for so long to project the image that I thought everyone else wanted, not that mine was the complete opposite or anything like that. Just more of that I never discovered my personal style and identity.

With my wedding coming up and this journey that I am on, I feel the need to do this. So I have been scouring the interwebs to find the kind of things I may like. So this is where I will shows those things as add to my journey of self discovery. Finding my personal style. Who I am. Not being afraid of myself, or being who I am, even to the criticism of others.