Long over due......

It's been awhile since I've posted anything. I got a bit off track with my exercise program. My eating and tracking went well, but has sort of tapered off in consistency in the past few weeks. I haven't lost as much progress as I have in the past, but I feel my body beginning to creep back to where it was. It's time to going again. I got down to 229lbs, which is pretty big for me. But I then end up self sabotaging or losing focus. We also had illness going around the house, so I've been fighting and recovering from this blasted cold.


I did do the Monster Mash on Oct 30, and I will be beginning training this week to due the turkey trot. My goal would be to be able to at least 1 full mile of the 2 mile event that we will be entering into. I also redid my calendar for my TurboLean program and my week now starts on Monday, which means tomorrow is the start of a new week. I've been getting more activity in on a daily basis. My cupboards are once again stocked with lots of good options and I am currently preparing dried beans in my slow cooker to freeze and use over the next month. With my food being more in order, I will be able to more easily track my food. It's been a bit on and off, so I really need to get back into doing my posting with my food diary for accountability. My kitchen is also more in order, I almost have ALL the dishes caught up. We got really behind with being sick, and then of course, when the kitchen is messy and not clean I don't want to cook in it.

So I'm back. I keep getting a little farther each time, and I know that I can do this!

Fired up!!!

The last few days have been amazing. I've been within my goals and my workouts have been so much fun. I've really been enjoying the Push Circuits for CLX and I'm getting better and better at Fire 30 each time. I really brought the intensity to Saturday's workout. My 4 year old son danced around and even tried some of the moves while I was doing the exercise. He's been really interested in "mommy's exercises" and he wanted to exercise with me. He ended up hanging onto me for some of the combo routines, which made it more challenging, which I was okay with so I allowed it. We actually made it into sort of a game. He was fascinated by the Fire Drills, and was disappointed when the next day I did the Stretch 10 and there weren't any. He also encourages me to do another exercise (sort of like he's my little personal trainer) and the time with him is great. We're still working on the when he goes off to play with his toys, to respect mommy's exercise space. But it's a great experience all the same. I tell him how much I love it when he exercises with me, and he gets so excited when it's a move he can do. I wish I would have been able to get it on video.

I did the TurboFire: 45EZ. It was my first time doing it, so that's always a bit awkward, but I still got a good workout in which always feels really good. I've just had so much energy lately, and I've really enjoyed being in closer contact with my friends. My best friend and MOH, Sarah is one of my new accountability buddies, she's been doing the Tubo Jam videos, which I will be trying myself here in the near future. My friend Ben just started P90X today, so I checked in with him to see how his workout went. I always get really excited when my friends and I are working to better health and we keep in touch and support each other. I also have my accountability buddy on myfitnesspal.com, who has also just become a beach body coach. She has been just awesome with the support and also sharing about her eating and exercise. She is also doing Turbo Jam.

My eating was pretty good. I'm really excited about dinner. We had cucumber and egg sandwiches with were fantastic. I made a dressing to spread a little on the bread and to use for the cucumber and grape tomatoes on the side. It turned out pretty awesome, although I think I'm going to go with maybe juice from only half a lime instead of a whole, and then use either red wine or balsamic vinegar instead of apple cider vinegar. Perhaps also had a bit of fresh ground black pepper. But here's the recipe:

4 Tbs kraft reduced fat mayo with olive oil
juice from 1/2 lime or 2 Tbs lime juice (or to preference)
1 Tbs red wine or balsamic vinegar, or whatever you prefer
1 to 2 Tbs cilantro, chopped
habanero sauce to taste, non vinegar based (I used Melinda's Chipotle & XXXtra hot), you could also use chili sauce like Sriracha.

Mix in a small ramekin or mug or small prep bowl until smooth.

Makes 2 servings.

I took a little of it and spread it onto two Orowheat sandwich thins, with one egg over medium and thinly sliced cucumber.

I then served on the side about 1 half sliced cucumber (per plate) and some grape tomatoes. The remaining dressing was divided among the two plates and drizzled on top of the veggies. It was such a satisfying meal, and really versatile. Also it only took me about 10 to 20 mins to make, was super easy and looked like it was more complicated than it really was. Ah, I love that.

I apologize for the hiatus

It's been awhile, over a week since I've posted anything, and I apologize. It's been a crazy and exciting couple of weeks. First, we have postponed the wedding to next summer. We have found our new venue and I'm really excited about it. Dancing Deer Mountain is gorgeous and I feel that we will be able to have a really awesome event out there, we also have a lot more time to save and plan, since we were so far behind on EVERYTHING. It also just works out better for everyone, which is a plus. I was looking forward to getting married in December, but it was starting to get so stressful that I wasn't sure if we'd be able to get everything done in time.

I have not been on the exercise wagon as much, and my eating wasn't the best, but I also didn't really backslide. I've held my own if anything. Thanks to the help of my new accountability buddy Jaime, I've been getting back on track and able to remember what I get so excited about when it comes to my goals and what I enjoy about my exercise schedule. I started my week yesterday with Push Circuit 1 and tonight I have Fire 30, Abs 10 and my C25K workout. I should probably get started on it soon, but I wanted to get a quick blog entry up to officially acknowledge my return.

In light of the extended wedding date, I have increased my goal from 30lbs of weightloss by the wedding to 60lbs! As I get closer to the original 30, I will then update my ticker, it's simply more motivating for me right now having 25lbs to go instead of 55lbs to go.

My eating is also going GREAT to day. I have yet to plan out dinner, but we went grocery shopping and the house has been restocked.

I hope everyone has been well the last couple weeks and I look forward to keeping you all posted on my journey. It hasn't been easy, but I've never felt this good about it before, or this encouraged. Thank you all.

The Wagon

I've sort of fell off the wagon the last couple days. Maybe more the last week. It's been a rough one. I haven't binged really or even given in much to emotional eating. But we did end up going out a couple times over the weekend and went to the Lane County Fair with my mom and stepdad. It was the first time we were really able to take Miles. He had a blast. We saw goats, and ducks, and horses and cows. Miles even got to go on a couple rides. I bought an awesome parasol, well a very awesome parasol that is also very cheap.

Anyway, the week in general wasn't good. I found out that my ex is having a baby with the girl he's with, which is also the reason I left him. I won't go into the drama much, but lets just say he can barely take care of himself, and he can't even afford to adequately support the one he already has. Then a day or two after that, I almost was no longer a bride on the run, I'd have to change my blog to spinster on the run or something like that. We are working it out and in the end it was a good thing, but it's just been a tense week.

I am looking forward to this afternoon and evening. my co-worker Brooke is getting married, and this will also mark the end of my "bad week". I did keep up on tracking, and my exercise, but I didn't do as well with staying on the wagon with my calorie intake. My big mistake yesterday was that I forgot to take my meds and I didn't eat enough fore going to a BBQ for my son's uncle Mark, he was 17 yesterday (I could hardly believe it). Anyway, it took a lot longer to get the food prepared than I think they had anticipated and so I was ravenous when it was time to eat, and I ended up eating a bit too much. At first I wasn't too worried, since I usually have a deficit from exercising, but I ended up being so tired last night, that I decided to make Thursday once again my rest day and exercise tonight when I get home from the wedding.

The week wasn't all bad. I reached my goal of the month of 500 fitness mins!!!! yay!! I have never reached that before when I've actually set it as a goal. it is pretty exciting. I also stayed on track with my exercise. As I mentioned in my previous post, I did Push Circuit 1 and it completely kicked my ass! it was fantastic. I have been looking forward to Push Circuit 2. BRING IT ON CHALEAN!!!!

I've also really enjoyed the TurboFire: Fire videos. I feel so silly doing them, but then I realized, what am I worried about, I'm having fun! And I've also started to feel more comfortable dancing around the house again randomly when I hear a song I like. It has been so long since I've done that. This journey has been really causing me to look at so many things in my life. I've been working on my mental health as well. I may never have exactly the life I want, but I can have at least parts of it. I can have a strong body. I can have accomplishments that I am proud of. I already have a wonderful little boy, who is my sunshine. I have a loving husband to be, who is really supportive and has been awesome in helping me stay motivated, even when I am discouraged and frustrated. I also have some great friends that have helped me with that too.

Everyday is a new day, and every week is a new week. And all of these new days and weeks are new beginnings. Take it one beginning at a time.

PUSH IT!

Last night was ChaLean Extreme Push Circuit 1. I had for my exercise schedule to do the strength training and then do my C25K, just like I did when I'd have the burn circuits.

It was intense and awesome! And it totally kicked my ass! When I got on the treadmill, I did my walking for 8mins and then started running for 2mins. I can tell that I'm getting stronger, my form is better, but my legs were dead. I got through the first 10min intervals, but I hit muscle failure. I was a little disappointed that I wasn't able to finish my run, but really proud that I had put so much into the weight training that my body needed more time to recover. I'm really looking forward to rest of the Push Circuits this month.

Fired up and Frustrated

I've been making progress, I'm getting more defined curves on my sides above my hips. My shoulders are also looking pretty good. And I'm proud of all my hard work and determination. I started the actual TurboFire videos, and they are awesome! It is hard, and intense, but a lot of fun. I feel so silly, but at the same time, like I'm just sort of goofing off and hanging out moving in front of my TV. Then, when I actually get a combo or a few moves just right, I feel so awesome!

On Saturday I went to the Goodwill to find some clothes. I needed some for work and my co-worker's wedding is on Friday, so I wanted something nice to wear. Anyway, I try on some pants in my size. they didn't really fit. The skirts were okay, except the one that should have been my size didn't quite fit and ones that should have been 2 to 3 sizes too large fit just fine. It wasn't very many clothes, but they were all sized smaller. And it just seems like my bottom half never shrinks as it is anyway. I'm just getting frustrated and discouraged since as of yet, all my progress is in my upper body. It seems like it's slowly making it's way down. I am proud of my progress and hard work, but I feel at the same time that it's like a drop in the ocean. And I also start feeling horribly out of proportion.

I did a HIIT workout last night, it was interesting. I am enjoying the TurboFire videos. It's back to the weight lifting though this week. I will be reaching 500 fitness minutes soon too. Should be tonight, hopefully, if not tonight, tomorrow. I'm getting nervous with the prospects of self sabotage on the horizon. I'm finding it harder to keep on track. I'm fighting. I'm fighting as hard as I can. I can't believe I haven't just given in like I always do. I take a day off here or there, but I'm still here fighting for my life back, the life I took from myself with every pound that I've gained that brought me here. So tonight, I will Continue fighting doing CLX: Push Circuit 1, and restarting month 1 week 2 of my C25K Program. My son may want to join me on the weight lifting. He's been very curious about it and want "to be strong like mommy". I found my 3lbs. so we'll see how that goes. I love doing this sort of thing with my family.

"Enjoy the process"

The last few days I've taken a hiatus  from my exercise schedule. With the side effects I was experiencing I felt that it was better to not push myself too much. It was the muscle weakness in my legs was the worse. Just going of the stairs (which I do everyday, multiple times a day) would cause my muscles to nearly reach fatigue (like as though I was doing squats or lunges with added weight). There was no reason that my body should have felt that way pre workout.

My doctor was right though. On Thursday he said I should notice a vast difference by the next day with the adjustment we made to my dose, and I did. I wasn't back to 100% yet, but my mind was clearer and the weakness was still there, but not as bad. I still took the day off from working out. I have not, however, taken any breaks in tracking my food intake and watching what I eat. We have been vegetarian for about 2 weeks now, and it's going very well. I started a post on vegetarianism, but I have yet to complete it. It is working with  making get towards my goals easier, and there are very good reasons as to why that is, but I will talk about that later. I mostly wanted to give a quick update to stay on track. I will be getting in Burn circuit 3, my C25K workout from yesterday where I will walk for 27 mins and run for 3. I will also do the CLX recharge and then Ab Burner as I can do a better job with my form and getting the most out of it than with the Extreme Abs. That will cover cardio, strength, and flexibility and abs for the day and I will feel a bit caught up. I have ran into set backs the past through weeks, but I am making it through and staying consistent. The results are definitely showing too.

Upon my last C25K workout, I ran into through with running the full 2 mins. I was thinking that perhaps I should break it up into 4 intervals instead of doing 3, but I will try to continue with 3 for the next two workouts to see if it was simply the muscle weakness that was causing the trouble as it really felt like it shouldn't have been that hard.

I am very excited about my progress, but so far the scale is still showing previously conquered territory. I am getting a bit anxious about when I get down to 231 and below 230, I've never been able to maintain lower than 232 or so. That's usually the point where my tendency to self sabotage kicks in and I end up losing steam. That was one reason for this blog, to help me when it gets hard to stay on track. To motivate myself to stay consistent and to find my way around any road blocks that I come across. To build accountability. I have gotten behind on the Chinese thing, but I was excited when I was watching Reno 911, the episode where Junior accidentally gets married to the mail order bride from China, and I understood some of the stuff that the Chinese woman was saying, when the previous time I saw it, it was just gibberish. Woohoo!!

I've also been thinking of trying to take up knitting again. Specifically learning to knit lace. I've been drooling over arm warmers and fingerless gloves on Etsy.com and since money is sort of a tight resource, I was noting that I could probably make some of them fairly easily from old shirts and such, and/or learn to knit them. Maybe I could try to sell a few, for really just the cost of the materials to support the hobby.

Until Later.

Day 25

Weeken Update 3: Can't believe it's been another week already

Another week has come and gone, it seems not all that long ago I was doing my last catch up because the days got away from me. It's been an interesting week, a lot of ups and downs. I've been on the new dose of my SNRI for a couple weeks now, and with the regular exercise and trying to make healthier choices, I'm starting to feel better actually. I'm not used to it at all, and I still feel like there is something wrong. I've suffered from chronic depression for most of my life, starting when I was a child. I've been going to a psychiatrist at the urging of my fiance and recommendation of my therapist since February. It's a slow process, but it feels like we may be making some progress.

It's been a lot easier eating within my range and the last time I went to Red Robin, I not only got a boca burger patty, I got the burger wrapped in lettuce. I really didn't miss the bun, not the at least 200 to 300 calories it would have had. All around it's been good, not major sabotaging binges or anything. We've also been vegetarian for one week now and I think that is helping a lot. It limits us from going and getting fast food, and we've been eating more fruit and vegetables. We already were working to cut out the junk food. So far we are experiencing some very healthy changes in our eating habits. I look forward to the months to come as we continue this journey to find a good balance with food together.

Day 15

Day 16

17

Day 18

Day 19

Day 20

Wow, just about 10 more days to it being a month! I didn't realize that until I finished this with the picture captions.

Day 14

Today was a momentous day actually. At first glance, it starts like any other. I got up, went to work, ate my usual oatmeal for breakfast, I drink my coffee, I track my calories, my life and existence as i know it now. The days count down to my wedding, 4 months and two days, so much to do. But life goes on in the midst of it all. I go to work, I sleep, I take care of and play with my lovely son.

I wonder everyday, every workout, when will I finally have melted enough layers to see myself. Today, I look in the mirror and notice something, my face is thinner, it's small, and perhaps only I notice it, but the way my hair lays, the way underneath my chin looks, there's less there. It feels like it's been so long that I've been doing this and it has and it hasn't. This bout is only a couple weeks, but then I realize that it shouldn't be looked at as "only" two weeks. It should be something to be celebrated.

So Today is August 1st!

1. it has been 2 weeks, 14 entire days of watching my food intake/calories!

2.. I have been exercising regularly for 2 weeks!

3. I completed the 1st week of  the ChaLean Extreme TurboFire Hybrid Schedule. 1 week down, 19 to go!

Every day it gets easier. It wasn't all that long ago that I was wondering how in the world I ever maintained a lower weight, how I didn't weigh 200 to 300lbs in high school. How did I eat less food? It would seem nearly impossible to stay under 1700 or 1500 cals. But it's getting easier and easier, especially the days I exercise, naturally.

Today may have started like every other, and it's ended similar to the days in the last two weeks, but it's not like every other. It's been a day to actually notice where I am going. I still can't even imagine the results, what it would look like or feel like, but I know that it will be unbelievable when I try on my dress and it fits.

Today is also day one for starting to give up meat, for at least the next four months. I slightly failed today in that I had forgotten a lunch and had a weight watchers smart ones meal in the freezer at work. It had a little bit of turkey sausage in it, so I was a little bit unsuccessful in having a meatless day, but it was the only slip up.

DAY 14!!!

Weekend Update 2: Getting caught up.....

I may have gotten behind on posting my food diary reports, but I actually only have one day or so where I ended up failing to track. This is a pretty good track record for me. I may have missed a day or two since mid July, but I've been consistent, more so than ever before.

The weekend was good. I went to a bridal shower on Saturday and then in the evening, I had some screwdrivers at home with my fiance. We don't drink much, but every once and a while we'll get a bottle of something. On Saturday it was a bottle of Absolut APEACH Vodka.

The bottle is so pretty.

So suffice to say, I went over on calories on Saturday, but it wasn't by too horribly much, and did torch a good 400 to 500calories during my exercise, and another 700+ on Sunday, which I was well within range to where it'll make it up. The next major days coming up are if I go to the Lane County Fair in late August, and then my co-worker's (who's bridal shower I went to on Saturday) wedding on the 26th. I started using my Blackberry again last week, and began scheduling all my workouts for "TurboLean".

It has been invaluable scheduling them in way ahead of time, for instance, my colleague's wedding day, the 26th, is a Friday, so I have work until 2pm and then I'll need to get ready for the wedding which is out of town at 4:30. I'm not really going to have time to get my workout in, so i rescheduled my rest day from Thursday to Friday and will do Friday's workout on Thursday. It feels really good to be scheduling this way so I can plan ahead and see how I will accomplish my goals and not just take the "I'll get it in somewhere if i can..... eh, I don't really have time" philosophy. Speaking of which, In addition to getting caught up on blogging and updates, I still need to to my exercise for today, which isn't terribly long, but I need to get onto it. So here are my Food Diary entries for the 27th thru the 31st, minus the one day that I missed tracking:

Day 10

Day 11

12

Day 13