I've been making progress, I'm getting more defined curves on my sides above my hips. My shoulders are also looking pretty good. And I'm proud of all my hard work and determination. I started the actual TurboFire videos, and they are awesome! It is hard, and intense, but a lot of fun. I feel so silly, but at the same time, like I'm just sort of goofing off and hanging out moving in front of my TV. Then, when I actually get a combo or a few moves just right, I feel so awesome!
On Saturday I went to the Goodwill to find some clothes. I needed some for work and my co-worker's wedding is on Friday, so I wanted something nice to wear. Anyway, I try on some pants in my size. they didn't really fit. The skirts were okay, except the one that should have been my size didn't quite fit and ones that should have been 2 to 3 sizes too large fit just fine. It wasn't very many clothes, but they were all sized smaller. And it just seems like my bottom half never shrinks as it is anyway. I'm just getting frustrated and discouraged since as of yet, all my progress is in my upper body. It seems like it's slowly making it's way down. I am proud of my progress and hard work, but I feel at the same time that it's like a drop in the ocean. And I also start feeling horribly out of proportion.
I did a HIIT workout last night, it was interesting. I am enjoying the TurboFire videos. It's back to the weight lifting though this week. I will be reaching 500 fitness minutes soon too. Should be tonight, hopefully, if not tonight, tomorrow. I'm getting nervous with the prospects of self sabotage on the horizon. I'm finding it harder to keep on track. I'm fighting. I'm fighting as hard as I can. I can't believe I haven't just given in like I always do. I take a day off here or there, but I'm still here fighting for my life back, the life I took from myself with every pound that I've gained that brought me here. So tonight, I will Continue fighting doing CLX: Push Circuit 1, and restarting month 1 week 2 of my C25K Program. My son may want to join me on the weight lifting. He's been very curious about it and want "to be strong like mommy". I found my 3lbs. so we'll see how that goes. I love doing this sort of thing with my family.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Vegetarian's dilema......(newbie edition)
The biggest issue with cutting out meant and beginning to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle is protein. I knew this was the case before Carson and I began this. I've gotten more and more diligent with tracking my food all the time, but found that my protein consumption may have been on the low side. Carson said that he felt that he was experiencing not getting enough protein. We have dairy products and eggs, but even with those options it's still difficult some days.
I had the idea the other night after my workout that after I got paid, we'd get some protein powder to help us get our protein as a supplement while we adjust to cutting out meat. I felt sort of weird going to the store and buying it. We bought two containers of whey protein with have 30 servings each. Each serving has 26g of protein, which is my minimum is around 60 or 78g then that will be a good supplement. It's supposed to be a supplement. So the goal is to have no more than one scoop/serving a day and to be able to adjust to getting our protein in without it being more than back up every now and then.
I had the idea the other night after my workout that after I got paid, we'd get some protein powder to help us get our protein as a supplement while we adjust to cutting out meat. I felt sort of weird going to the store and buying it. We bought two containers of whey protein with have 30 servings each. Each serving has 26g of protein, which is my minimum is around 60 or 78g then that will be a good supplement. It's supposed to be a supplement. So the goal is to have no more than one scoop/serving a day and to be able to adjust to getting our protein in without it being more than back up every now and then.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Fashion Covets: Fingerless gloves
For some reason, I've been enamored with arm warmers, and fingerless gloves. I was was thinking of velvet gloves to go with my wedding outfit, but I couldn't seem to find anything that was speaking to me. Couldn't find my color in the exact kind I wanted. That was awhile ago. I haven't really thought of gloves for my wedding outfit in awhile, but I have been really loving them lately, or the idea anyway.
I began knitting a pair of arm warmers, nothing as intricate and lovely as these that I found while wandering around Etsy.com.
These from hypericumfragile are just wonderful:
They make me think of Victorian teas and Jane Austin novels. There's just something about these that makes me lust for them. They do sell the crochet pattern for $8, so if you know someone who is good at crocheting that could be your ticket.
skywatcher1121 has these lovely delicate skeleton lace fingerless gloves:
And then there's these from yasoknitting:
They look so exotic. And the lace on the hands like that gives me chills.
I could go on and on and post hundreds of pictures, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Until next time....
I began knitting a pair of arm warmers, nothing as intricate and lovely as these that I found while wandering around Etsy.com.
These from hypericumfragile are just wonderful:
They make me think of Victorian teas and Jane Austin novels. There's just something about these that makes me lust for them. They do sell the crochet pattern for $8, so if you know someone who is good at crocheting that could be your ticket.
skywatcher1121 has these lovely delicate skeleton lace fingerless gloves:
And then there's these from yasoknitting:
They look so exotic. And the lace on the hands like that gives me chills.
I could go on and on and post hundreds of pictures, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Until next time....
Fashion Covets: Finding my personal style
I'm sort of stealing this idea from the blog Ultimate Goth Guide, where she has a new segment called "coveting". Although, there are a few differences. Hers is once a month and featuring individual sellers, where as this is more about developing one's personal style.
As a child, I loved clothes. There were probably several reasons, but I loved pretty frilly dresses, and cute little outfits. As I got older and my self esteem got lower, I was more concerned with covering myself. Due to some unpleasant things in my childhood, and the normal awkwardness of adolescence, the effects culminated into wanting to hide. Bulky t-shirts and sweaters and loose fitting pants were my salvation. As my weight went up, the more I needed to hide it. As I have mentioned, my weight was a barrier. I put on these pounds and a cushion to keep everything in and everything else out. It was a way to separate me from society.
I became more and more self-conscious about wearing anything that was beyond my norm. I was afraid I guess of scrutiny. Or of being looked down upon for wearing what was in yesterday. Felt and still do feel like everyone else was clued in to some secret of life and social interactions that I was completely left out of. All I could do, was fake along, like the person who laughs along with his friends at a joke that they don't really get the punch line.
As I had said before, there was a lot more to this journey than just the weight loss. So much more than a number on a scale, or a clothing size. I've felt so left out of being able to wear cute clothes and outfits and I would gawk at wishing I could wear, but would never even dare to think of trying them on in my wildest dreams. I've tried so hard for so long to project the image that I thought everyone else wanted, not that mine was the complete opposite or anything like that. Just more of that I never discovered my personal style and identity.
With my wedding coming up and this journey that I am on, I feel the need to do this. So I have been scouring the interwebs to find the kind of things I may like. So this is where I will shows those things as add to my journey of self discovery. Finding my personal style. Who I am. Not being afraid of myself, or being who I am, even to the criticism of others.
As a child, I loved clothes. There were probably several reasons, but I loved pretty frilly dresses, and cute little outfits. As I got older and my self esteem got lower, I was more concerned with covering myself. Due to some unpleasant things in my childhood, and the normal awkwardness of adolescence, the effects culminated into wanting to hide. Bulky t-shirts and sweaters and loose fitting pants were my salvation. As my weight went up, the more I needed to hide it. As I have mentioned, my weight was a barrier. I put on these pounds and a cushion to keep everything in and everything else out. It was a way to separate me from society.
I became more and more self-conscious about wearing anything that was beyond my norm. I was afraid I guess of scrutiny. Or of being looked down upon for wearing what was in yesterday. Felt and still do feel like everyone else was clued in to some secret of life and social interactions that I was completely left out of. All I could do, was fake along, like the person who laughs along with his friends at a joke that they don't really get the punch line.
As I had said before, there was a lot more to this journey than just the weight loss. So much more than a number on a scale, or a clothing size. I've felt so left out of being able to wear cute clothes and outfits and I would gawk at wishing I could wear, but would never even dare to think of trying them on in my wildest dreams. I've tried so hard for so long to project the image that I thought everyone else wanted, not that mine was the complete opposite or anything like that. Just more of that I never discovered my personal style and identity.
With my wedding coming up and this journey that I am on, I feel the need to do this. So I have been scouring the interwebs to find the kind of things I may like. So this is where I will shows those things as add to my journey of self discovery. Finding my personal style. Who I am. Not being afraid of myself, or being who I am, even to the criticism of others.
Sick again.....
This has been brutal. I hate being sick. I've been so anxious about having had to miss work yesterday and today for being sick. I haven't tracked my food the last couple days, but my appetite hasn't been the best. I wonder if my son may have had it, but couldn't really communicate. He didn't have a fever and was sort of out of it for a couple days and didn't have much of an appetite it seemed, but it's hard to say.
Anyway, Miles was with his dad yesterday as usual, and my mom went and picked him up after she got off work and brought him home. He came upstairs where I was resting and said, "Mommy, you sick?" and I told him "Yes baby, mommy's sick". So he said, very insistingly "You need water!"
He went back down stairs and came back with my reusable cold cup that Carson had put fresh water in for me. And then told me to drink it up so I'd be all better. We then cuddled upstairs and watched a movie together. Anytime it came up that I was sick, he'd insist that I needed to drink more water. I love the way little kids think. And it was really sweet how my little boy wanted to make sure his mommy would be well soon.
I am feeling better today, although I still wasn't up to going to work today. I hate feeling useless. I hate setbacks. I was supposed to also do my first actual TurboFire workout but couldn't because of being sick. It was terrible, being feverish, without the high temperature. I had the dizziness, the body aches, and then there was the swollen glands, which made my neck tender and swallowing difficult. I still have the weakness, and sore throat, swollen glands being tender, and I am still not able to be up and about for all that long. I was able to take my son to school. I really appreciate my mommy, she's going to pick the smiley bear up from school and bring him home for me. It's hard for me to ask for help to be honest, and I feel bad when I have to, like I have no right to. So, it is nice when I end up having to, to be reminded that people love me and are there for me.
I think it's getting to be nap time again, so I should probably go rest. I am looking forward to being back on track with my exercise tomorrow.
Anyway, Miles was with his dad yesterday as usual, and my mom went and picked him up after she got off work and brought him home. He came upstairs where I was resting and said, "Mommy, you sick?" and I told him "Yes baby, mommy's sick". So he said, very insistingly "You need water!"
He went back down stairs and came back with my reusable cold cup that Carson had put fresh water in for me. And then told me to drink it up so I'd be all better. We then cuddled upstairs and watched a movie together. Anytime it came up that I was sick, he'd insist that I needed to drink more water. I love the way little kids think. And it was really sweet how my little boy wanted to make sure his mommy would be well soon.
I am feeling better today, although I still wasn't up to going to work today. I hate feeling useless. I hate setbacks. I was supposed to also do my first actual TurboFire workout but couldn't because of being sick. It was terrible, being feverish, without the high temperature. I had the dizziness, the body aches, and then there was the swollen glands, which made my neck tender and swallowing difficult. I still have the weakness, and sore throat, swollen glands being tender, and I am still not able to be up and about for all that long. I was able to take my son to school. I really appreciate my mommy, she's going to pick the smiley bear up from school and bring him home for me. It's hard for me to ask for help to be honest, and I feel bad when I have to, like I have no right to. So, it is nice when I end up having to, to be reminded that people love me and are there for me.
I think it's getting to be nap time again, so I should probably go rest. I am looking forward to being back on track with my exercise tomorrow.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
"Enjoy the process"
The last few days I've taken a hiatus from my exercise schedule. With the side effects I was experiencing I felt that it was better to not push myself too much. It was the muscle weakness in my legs was the worse. Just going of the stairs (which I do everyday, multiple times a day) would cause my muscles to nearly reach fatigue (like as though I was doing squats or lunges with added weight). There was no reason that my body should have felt that way pre workout.
My doctor was right though. On Thursday he said I should notice a vast difference by the next day with the adjustment we made to my dose, and I did. I wasn't back to 100% yet, but my mind was clearer and the weakness was still there, but not as bad. I still took the day off from working out. I have not, however, taken any breaks in tracking my food intake and watching what I eat. We have been vegetarian for about 2 weeks now, and it's going very well. I started a post on vegetarianism, but I have yet to complete it. It is working with making get towards my goals easier, and there are very good reasons as to why that is, but I will talk about that later. I mostly wanted to give a quick update to stay on track. I will be getting in Burn circuit 3, my C25K workout from yesterday where I will walk for 27 mins and run for 3. I will also do the CLX recharge and then Ab Burner as I can do a better job with my form and getting the most out of it than with the Extreme Abs. That will cover cardio, strength, and flexibility and abs for the day and I will feel a bit caught up. I have ran into set backs the past through weeks, but I am making it through and staying consistent. The results are definitely showing too.
Upon my last C25K workout, I ran into through with running the full 2 mins. I was thinking that perhaps I should break it up into 4 intervals instead of doing 3, but I will try to continue with 3 for the next two workouts to see if it was simply the muscle weakness that was causing the trouble as it really felt like it shouldn't have been that hard.
I am very excited about my progress, but so far the scale is still showing previously conquered territory. I am getting a bit anxious about when I get down to 231 and below 230, I've never been able to maintain lower than 232 or so. That's usually the point where my tendency to self sabotage kicks in and I end up losing steam. That was one reason for this blog, to help me when it gets hard to stay on track. To motivate myself to stay consistent and to find my way around any road blocks that I come across. To build accountability. I have gotten behind on the Chinese thing, but I was excited when I was watching Reno 911, the episode where Junior accidentally gets married to the mail order bride from China, and I understood some of the stuff that the Chinese woman was saying, when the previous time I saw it, it was just gibberish. Woohoo!!
I've also been thinking of trying to take up knitting again. Specifically learning to knit lace. I've been drooling over arm warmers and fingerless gloves on Etsy.com and since money is sort of a tight resource, I was noting that I could probably make some of them fairly easily from old shirts and such, and/or learn to knit them. Maybe I could try to sell a few, for really just the cost of the materials to support the hobby.
Until Later.
My doctor was right though. On Thursday he said I should notice a vast difference by the next day with the adjustment we made to my dose, and I did. I wasn't back to 100% yet, but my mind was clearer and the weakness was still there, but not as bad. I still took the day off from working out. I have not, however, taken any breaks in tracking my food intake and watching what I eat. We have been vegetarian for about 2 weeks now, and it's going very well. I started a post on vegetarianism, but I have yet to complete it. It is working with making get towards my goals easier, and there are very good reasons as to why that is, but I will talk about that later. I mostly wanted to give a quick update to stay on track. I will be getting in Burn circuit 3, my C25K workout from yesterday where I will walk for 27 mins and run for 3. I will also do the CLX recharge and then Ab Burner as I can do a better job with my form and getting the most out of it than with the Extreme Abs. That will cover cardio, strength, and flexibility and abs for the day and I will feel a bit caught up. I have ran into set backs the past through weeks, but I am making it through and staying consistent. The results are definitely showing too.
Upon my last C25K workout, I ran into through with running the full 2 mins. I was thinking that perhaps I should break it up into 4 intervals instead of doing 3, but I will try to continue with 3 for the next two workouts to see if it was simply the muscle weakness that was causing the trouble as it really felt like it shouldn't have been that hard.
I am very excited about my progress, but so far the scale is still showing previously conquered territory. I am getting a bit anxious about when I get down to 231 and below 230, I've never been able to maintain lower than 232 or so. That's usually the point where my tendency to self sabotage kicks in and I end up losing steam. That was one reason for this blog, to help me when it gets hard to stay on track. To motivate myself to stay consistent and to find my way around any road blocks that I come across. To build accountability. I have gotten behind on the Chinese thing, but I was excited when I was watching Reno 911, the episode where Junior accidentally gets married to the mail order bride from China, and I understood some of the stuff that the Chinese woman was saying, when the previous time I saw it, it was just gibberish. Woohoo!!
I've also been thinking of trying to take up knitting again. Specifically learning to knit lace. I've been drooling over arm warmers and fingerless gloves on Etsy.com and since money is sort of a tight resource, I was noting that I could probably make some of them fairly easily from old shirts and such, and/or learn to knit them. Maybe I could try to sell a few, for really just the cost of the materials to support the hobby.
Until Later.
 |
| Day 25 |
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Sick day
Ended up staying home sick from work today. The lack on concentration issues were so bad that I called in and stayed home. I was able to talk to my doctor today, and he said that it is a very rare side effect of the medication and that with the alterations that we made, I should notice a big difference as soon as tomorrow. So that is a relief. It has been really frustrating trying to get through the last week. My home is safe, so i don't have the added burden of anxiety that I would get outside in the world. Of course, even here in my sanctuary I had trouble being able to even read more than a couple sentences at a time while surfing the internet.
My eating was a success for today. Feels like I stuffed myself at dinner, but I really didn't when it came down to the actual calories. I made tzatziki and served it with pita pocket bread that was quartered and divided to make it seem like more to my beloved and son (hee. hee. sneaky me). I also tried a new recipe, which was actually something completely new for me to make. Samosas. They were curried and were served with a Mint-cilantro chutney.
I was so excited with this culinary endeavor that I made it special by serving the tzatziki on a piece of my grandmother's wedding china. Probably should have done it the other way around for presentation to not have the white-on-white with the dip, but documenting it with photographs was sort of a last minute decision.
Anyway, it was a very satisfying dinner, and the samosas will be a great item to experiment with and to make ahead and freeze. I'm looking forward to my lunch tomorrow.
I have hope for tomorrow. I'm also over halfway to my goal for fitness minutes for the month. This is significant since whenever I set a goal of say 500 fitness minutes for a month always fall short, usually by a lot.I am also very much looking forward to feeling better with my concentration going back to normal and my muscles not feeling weak. It wasn't a lot of weakness, but even a little is not pleasant.
My eating was a success for today. Feels like I stuffed myself at dinner, but I really didn't when it came down to the actual calories. I made tzatziki and served it with pita pocket bread that was quartered and divided to make it seem like more to my beloved and son (hee. hee. sneaky me). I also tried a new recipe, which was actually something completely new for me to make. Samosas. They were curried and were served with a Mint-cilantro chutney.
I was so excited with this culinary endeavor that I made it special by serving the tzatziki on a piece of my grandmother's wedding china. Probably should have done it the other way around for presentation to not have the white-on-white with the dip, but documenting it with photographs was sort of a last minute decision.
,
Anyway, it was a very satisfying dinner, and the samosas will be a great item to experiment with and to make ahead and freeze. I'm looking forward to my lunch tomorrow.
I have hope for tomorrow. I'm also over halfway to my goal for fitness minutes for the month. This is significant since whenever I set a goal of say 500 fitness minutes for a month always fall short, usually by a lot.I am also very much looking forward to feeling better with my concentration going back to normal and my muscles not feeling weak. It wasn't a lot of weakness, but even a little is not pleasant.
 |
| Day 24 |
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